Helping families choose a custom memorial during one of the most challenging times of their lives requires much more than offering granite samples and standard designs. It’s about truly listening to their stories, understanding their emotions, and helping them create a memorial that reflects the life, passions, and values of their loved ones. By using a thoughtful, consultative approach, you can make this difficult task a meaningful experience for the family, guiding them to craft a legacy in stone that is as unique as the person it honors.

Starting the Conversation: The FORDS Approach

One of the most effective ways to build rapport and gather important information is by using the FORDS approach. FORDS stands for Family, Occupation, Recreation, Dreams, and School/Sports. It’s a compassionate framework that helps monument consultants evoke meaningful details about the individual being memorialized, which can then inspire design choices and personal touches for the monument.

1. Family

Begin by asking about the person’s role within their family. Were they a parent, grandparent, or the eldest sibling? Did they have a special nickname within the family? Understanding these dynamics helps build a connection with the family and allows you to suggest symbols that reflect these relationships. For instance, if the individual was the rock of the family, you might suggest a boulder or a bench as part of the design, symbolizing their supportive role.

2. Occupation

A person’s career or life’s work is often a defining part of their identity. Ask the family about the individual’s occupation and whether it played a central role in their life. Were they a nurse, teacher, or entrepreneur? Did they dedicate their life to helping others? Incorporating symbols of their profession, such as a stethoscope, a book, or a community emblem, can personalize the memorial and honor their contributions. These details can be beautifully expressed through sandblasting, laser etching, or the monument’s shape.

3. Recreations and Hobbies

What did they enjoy doing in their free time? Hobbies often reflect a person’s personality and passions. If they loved gardening, playing music, or traveling, these activities can be represented through imagery on the memorial or in its overall shape. For example, an etched guitar for a music lover or a landscape of mountains for someone who loved hiking can tell their story visually. Recreations are particularly popular choices for laser etching, allowing for intricate and detailed images.

4. Dreams and Aspirations / Dogs (Pets)

A compelling vision can resonate through time, influencing generations. But a dream left unfulfilled can be a powerful echo, reminding us of the hopes that shaped a life. When speaking with families, consider asking about the dreams or aspirations their loved one never had the chance to fulfill. These unrealized goals can be just as meaningful as their achievements. One meaningful memorial included an etching of a person skydiving, a dream they had always spoken about but never got to experience. By incorporating these aspirational elements, you honor not only who they were but also who they aspired to be.

Pets hold a special place in many people’s lives, and their companionship can be an important part of the family’s memories. Families may appreciate adding an image of a beloved pet or a paw print to the design.

5. School/Sports/Fandoms

For many people, school pride or sports fandom is a big part of their identity. Ask if they were a diehard fan of a particular team or heavily involved in their alma mater. Including team logos, mascots, or school emblems in the design can be a heartfelt touch. Additionally, in today’s world of geek culture, it’s not unusual for families to want to include elements from their loved one’s favorite shows, characters, or games—whether that’s an etched mythical creature or a design shaped like a beloved object. These symbols make the memorial truly unique and reflective of what brought joy to their loved one’s life.

Personalization Through Design: Moving from Standard to Custom

Once you’ve gathered personal details using the FORDS approach, the next step is guiding the family through the memorial design process. This is where you help them transition from sharing stories to shaping these stories into a lasting tribute.

Shapes and Sizes

The overall shape of the memorial is a crucial design element. Some families may prefer to work within standard shapes—flush, bevel, slant, or serpentine—while others may want to explore more unique, custom shapes that reflect their loved one’s personality. For example, a memorial shaped like an angel or heart or even a design inspired by a favorite hobby or life event can create a one-of-a-kind tribute.

Encourage families to think about whether they want a traditional monument design or something more creative that speaks to the individual’s character.

Materials and Colors

Granite comes in a variety of colors, each of which evokes a different mood or connection to the individual. Helping families choose the right color can enhance the emotional impact of the memorial. Some may prefer the understated elegance of gray granite, while others may want something more dramatic, like Jet Black. Certain colors, such as the rare and distinct Rainbow Sandstone, offer a sense of exclusivity that can make the memorial feel even more special. Be sure to discuss the availability and cost implications of these unique materials with the family.

Epitaphs and Inscriptions

The words engraved on a memorial are perhaps the most personal element of all. Encourage families to go beyond the standard phrases and think about quotes, lyrics, or sayings that truly resonated with their loved one. For example, including a recipe on the back side of a monument is a lovely way to honor the chef of the family, especially if it was something they were known for. Whether the inscription is sandblasted into the stone or adorned with gold leafing, these words become a lasting tribute that reflects the individual’s life and legacy.

Imagery

Whether sandblasted or laser-etched, imagery is a powerful way to personalize a memorial. From portraits to symbolic designs, images can speak volumes about who the person was. This is where the insights from the FORDS method become invaluable—you already have a clear understanding of what imagery will resonate with the family and can offer suggestions that reflect their loved one’s personality, passions, and accomplishments.

Custom Memorials: Uniquely Tailored Tributes

Custom memorials are entirely bespoke, designed from the ground up to reflect the individuality of the person being honored. These memorials allow for limitless personalization, giving families the opportunity to craft a monument that tells their loved one’s story in every detail.

Key Considerations for Custom Memorials:

• Cost: Due to the extensive craftsmanship involved, custom memorials are often perceived as the most expensive option, but many families are surprised by how affordable they can be.
• Availability: Since each element is handcrafted, custom memorials require more time to produce. At Salem Stones, these orders are typically received by our warehouses in 120 days.
• Choice: Custom memorials offer complete freedom in terms of design, shape, material, and details, allowing families to create a one-of-a-kind tribute that perfectly reflects their loved one.

Custom memorials are the best choice for families who seek a completely unique and personal tribute to their loved one’s life and legacy.

Special Design Memorials: Distinctive Yet Accessible

Special design memorials offer a middle ground between standard and fully custom options. These designs are based on pre-existing templates but can be personalized with various elements to reflect the individual’s life.

Key Considerations for Special Design Memorials:

• Cost: They are more affordable than custom memorials, making them a popular choice for families looking for a balance between budget and uniqueness.
• Availability: Special designs are quicker to produce than custom memorials, as the base design already exists. Salem Stones stocks a wide variety of Special Designs, further shortening timelines.
• Choice: While the designs are pre-conceived, families can still choose from various materials, finishes, and minor customizations to make the memorial feel more unique.

Special design memorials strike a balance, offering distinctiveness without the cost or time commitment of a fully custom design.

Elevating Memorials with Add-Ons: From Special to Custom

If a family opts for a special design but wants to add more personalization, consider suggesting add-ons that can elevate the memorial’s look and feel. These enhancements give a special design or traditional monument a more custom appearance, honoring the individuality of the person being remembered.

Key Considerations for Add-ons:

• Cost: Adding elements like gold leafing or porcelain images can increase the overall cost, but it is still more affordable than a fully custom memorial.
• Availability: These add-ons can be incorporated into most granite memorials without extending production time significantly.
• Choice: Some elements, like statuary or bronze medallions, may be limited to certain designs, but they offer a range of customization options.

Gold Leafing

Gold leafing adds a luxurious, elegant touch to the memorial, highlighting names, dates, or significant phrases. It creates a striking contrast and elevates the overall design, giving the memorial a distinguished appearance.

Porcelain Images

Including a porcelain image of the person or their family on the memorial is a powerful way to add a personal connection. More photorealistic than laser etching, these weather-resistant images preserve a loved one’s likeness and bring a human touch to the memorial.

Bronze Medallions or Figures

Bronze is both durable and timeless, making it an excellent choice for adding medallions or figures to the memorial. Families can choose religious symbols, military insignias, or custom bronze figures that reflect a favorite hobby or profession.

Statuary

Statuary can transform a simple design into something extraordinary. Whether it’s an angel, animal, or custom figure, statues add a visual and emotional presence to the memorial, creating a place of reflection and comfort.

Benches

Benches offer families a thoughtful way to enhance the gravesite by providing a peaceful place to sit, reflect, and feel close to their loved one. They can also be inscribed with messages to tell more of their loved one’s story or offer words of comfort to visitors. Often positioned nearby, a bench invites longer, more meaningful visits.

Helping Families Through the Decision-Making Process

As a monument consultant, your role is to support and guide families through this emotional process. By using the FORDS approach and offering thoughtful suggestions based on their stories, you can help them create a memorial that truly honors their loved one’s legacy.

Encourage families to think about their loved one’s passions and values, and guide them in expressing these through the design, shape, material, and personalization of the memorial. This process not only helps the family create a meaningful tribute but also gives them a sense of closure and comfort during a difficult time.

Crafting Stories in Stone

When it comes to memorialization, no two families’ needs or visions are the same. Your expertise and empathy play a crucial role in helping them craft a memorial that is both a reflection of their loved one’s life and a lasting tribute for generations to come. Whether it’s through a standard design with personal touches or a fully custom creation, your guidance can transform memories into stories etched in stone.

For more information or to discuss how we can assist you in designing the perfect memorial, contact our design team today.

Contact Our Design Team to Get Started:
Email: CustomDesign@salemstones.com
Phone: (866) 834-1219

Let us help you create a memorial that tells a story, honors a life, and provides families with a lasting tribute to their loved ones.